Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

And the sadness?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Utah health officials monitoring potential measles exposure in southwestern Utah - KSL.com

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s still here.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

WWDC 2025: What to Expect From macOS 26 Tahoe - MacRumors

Be who you already are.

I was tired of trying and failing.

The sadness was still there.

Pharmacists warn drug shortage affecting cancer patients - BBC

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Scottie Scheffler’s wife reveals infant son’s bathroom mishap during Memorial win - New York Post

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Witcher 4 Coming To State Of Unreal Event Tomorrow, Here's How To Watch - GameSpot

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Bitcoin bears bet against BTC’s rally, but a short squeeze could follow IF… - AMBCrypto

I had run out of hope.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Is there any evidence to support the existence of people who have experienced "gangstalking"? Or is it a psychological phenomenon?

You are like me, then.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why do some straight men like to suck dick but don't find other males attractive?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

I was tired of fighting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Dejected Joshua Kimmich reacts to Germany’s Nations League defeat - Bavarian Football Works

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.